Created by Ngozi Ukazu, Check, Please! is the story of Eric “Bitty” Bittle, former figure skater and baking enthusiast, as he navigates through his college years on a varsity male hockey team full of big, supportive, and emotional jocks.
How is Bitty’s speech representative of his journey toward self-acceptance?
As he tries to come out to his friend Shitty, Bitty’s long-winded, prepared speech serves as a visual representation of his own process towards self-acceptance. Even though he comes off as a fun-loving, free-spirited character, Eric Bittle is actually very methodical. He’s an accomplished baker, vlogger, and eventual captain, all of which require an understanding of each step needed and a clear vision of the end result. At this point in his freshman year, Bitty still hasn’t come out to his teammates because, A, he’s afraid as to how his conventionally masculine teammates will react, and B, he hasn’t really accepted it himself. So, his approach to coming out to Shitty is writing down the speech he has been clearly working on in his head since he joined the team.
Credit: Ngozi Ukazu
A winter scene of a classic college building by a creek. Bitty and Shitty are talking at the end of a paved path lined with benches, lamp posts and leafless trees.
Bitty: So. “I’ve been wanting to say this for a while now, but all this hoopla with winter screw kinda brought things to a head so to speak.”
Shitty: Dude, you can tell me anything. No judgment.
Bitty: “But not like I wouldn’t have told you were it not for screw! Obviously. Y’all are my best friends.” Um. Let’s see…
“‘But not like I wouldn’t have told you were it not for screw! Obviously. Y’all are my best friends.’ Um. Let’s see…” Notice the use of quotation marks. Bitty has written his entire side of the conversation out in a very crafted casual style. It’s when those quotation marks end that you can see how he’s still struggling to get the words out in just the right way. After this, as Bitty lists verbatim all of the times he’s considered coming out to his teammates, claiming none of them were the right moment, he’s clinging to the safety of the closet. The exhilarating rush of wanting to come out mixed with the anxiety of wanting to be safe is one that many queer people are all too familiar with.
Credit: Ngozi Ukazu
Shitty is sitting on the backrest of the bench while listening to Bitty, who’s pacing and reading a stack of index cards without looking up.
Shitty: …Wait. Are those index cards?
Bitty: “But sometimes, it’s even hard to tell friends things that - - well, you always knew, but took you… some time to come to terms with… and finding a good time and place is always so tricky, you know?”
”I mean, at the beginning of the school year? Is that the first impression you want to make?”
”What about midterms? When everyone’s runnin’ ‘round like hens with their heads cut off?”
”And you can’t casually mention it in the locker room, can you? Over team breakfast? Walking back from practice? Maybe at a haus party? Should you draft a powerpoint? Sky writing?”
Shitty: BITTY!
At the end, the simple and poignant nature of the words “I’m gay” contrasts greatly against the perfectly tailored casual tone that he wanted to convey. By writing down his methodical thought process, he was hoping to ease the potential blow it could be for Shitty. In other words, Bitty was being apologetic in his coming out: he didn’t want to disturb the status quo, and he was preluding his coming out more so for Shitty’s sake than his own. It’s a complex feeling for Bitty as he realizes that he doesn’t have to be methodical in all aspects of his life; some aspects of it can and should be approached in more simple terms.